After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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