There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
