Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
