dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
