Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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