I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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