I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
