guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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