let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize