i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
