So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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