Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
