i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
