I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
