I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
