that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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