how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize