Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I need a beard to bite.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
