OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
