i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
