plz talk dirty to me
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
