I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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