I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I want a musical about memes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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