she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
