genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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