I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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