I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
