He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
