I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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