Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
