Do vagina's smell?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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