youre lurking in front of me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
