maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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