yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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