Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
