girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
