I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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