BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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