It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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