Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
