i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
