Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
