Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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