Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
