The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize