Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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