i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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