new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize