Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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