its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
