One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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