I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize