Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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