ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
