I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
