Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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