I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Come on in and take your pants off
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