We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
