I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
