I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
