if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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