Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
